>>Quotes

 

>>==========================================================

>>Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
>>driving.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
>>the other is husband.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but
>>they wanted cash.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
>>purchased
>>new school uniforms.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
>>cannot
>>live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>True friends stab you in the front
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
>>tired.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
>>take it anyway.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
>>with me.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
>>with the same person.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than
>>doing them.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
>>ends up with the same boss.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
>>books.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
>>for you.
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
>>because they have
>>to say something
>>
>>==========================================================
>>
>>They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
>>gets to speak.

 

Smart Daughter

 

One evening recently, a mother entered her daughter's bedroom to
discover it empty. As she looked around, she spied a letter over the
bed. With trembling hands and a terrible  sense of   remonition, she
read...........

Dear Mom;   Please don't be mad, but I eloped with my new boyfriend. I
finally found real love and he is so nice Mom, with  all his
activities.

Not only that, I'm  pregnant and Ahmed says we're going to be really
happy in his trailer in the woods.

He wants to have lots more children with me and you know that's one of
my dreams too. Also, he taught me that marijuana   doesn't hurt anyone
and we're going to grow it for us and his   friends, who will pay  us
by giving us all the cocaine and ecstasy we'll   ever need and we'll
pray every day for scientists to find the cure for  AIDS so that Ahmed
can get better. He deserves it.   Don't worry   Mom, I'm 15 years old
now and I know how to take care of myself.

Some day I'll visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your
daughter, Judith   After fainting, Mom came to read the rest of the
letter....

 

PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm next door at Janey's house. I   just
wanted to show you that there are worse things in life  than the
report card on my desk... love you!

 

**************************************************************************************

>Hi All,
>
>Be up-to-date with technology trends.
>
>             --Panchatantra story of a software Engineer--
>
>*** At least read the moral at last ..
>
>Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop
>programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks
>of  a
>river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the
>Sunday
>market.  One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the
>table
>and  fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
>childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the
>River
>Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared  only
>after
>one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost
>his
>computer in the river.  As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his
>honesty.She
>showed him a 'match box' and asked, "Is this your computer ?
>"Disappointed
>by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer   replied,
>"No."
>She next showed him a pocket-sized 'calculator' and asked if that was
>his.
>Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!" Finally, she came up
>with
>his
>own Pentium machine and asked if it was  his. The engineer, left with
>no
>option, sighed and said "Yes."  The River Goddess was happy with his
>honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she
>could
>make  the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're
>supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?
>The
>River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
>donkey!
>The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
>Billennium,
>the latest computers from IBM!". So saying,she disappeared with the
>Pentium!!
>* * * * * * * * *
>Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better
>keep
>your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your
>mouth
>and remove all doubt
>